I still remember the days when I was a fresh student in the first days of fall and all I could think about was what outfit I’m going to wear next day at school.
Our family never had a lot, yet we were always taken care of, even if that was – at times – extremely modest. I found myself dreaming daily of all kinds of outfits and expressing myself in so many ways. But it always seemed I was caught between a rock and a hard place: what my wardrobe looked like and what the kids at school were wearing.
That was the first time I started to feel torn apart between what I wanted to wear and what I thought was acceptable and “safe” to wear. We all have moments when we want to fit in, to be liked and approved, and that’s when we let insecurities get the best of us.
It starts small, with maybe “toning down” the color of your lipstick. Then opting for a less tight skirt. We trade the stiletto heels for a safer flat, or the opposite – we torture ourselves in office wear when all we want is to wear some cute Converse with a fun floral dress.
Our environment also doesn’t always help! We’re constantly bombarded with rules and opinions about how we should look like and what beauty is.
No matter how confident and secure you are about yourself, I think it’s impossible to not have your self image sabotaged by doubt at least once in your life by ridiculous standards that push you into feeling “less than a perfect 10“.
Especially when you work a full time job or you run your own business, you have a family to take care of and you’re striving to balance your life with hobbies and activities. There are only so many hours in a day and so much pressure to be perfect…
So today I decided to be open and vulnerable again and talk about my fashion fears and insecurities.
Although beauty may be in the eye of the beholder, the feeling of being beautiful exists solely in the mind of the beheld.
We all have fears...
Something changed in my world when I realized that what I desire most in life is to live a life that is my own, a life where I’m being the most authentic self and being celebrated for who I am, in my entirety.
I always appreciate a good advice and following trends can be so much fun and excitement, because there’s always something new to discover and learn. The tricky part is discerning between what and who I truly am, and what is being pushed upon me in manipulating and deceiving ways.
When I choose an item to wear or when I try on a new makeup trend, I want it to be because I genuinely love it. Not because I was made to feel insecure, like I’m falling behind, or because someone needs to find me attractive.
Being appreciated and like I’m on the right track can feel so comforting and pleasurable, and I’m extremely thankful for all the support I get! I really couldn’t make it so far without it. But I want to do these things for myself first, not for outside validation. I want to feel like I don’t have to suffer or sacrifice my true self in order to be loved.
One of my biggest fashion fears EVER was wearing a midi skirt. Why? Because I have short legs, and as much as I would like to be all “I can wear whatever and pull it off” – I’m not. I have to work with what I have.
Therefore, I’ve been avoiding midi skirts for the majority of my life because I don’t want to look like my whole body is being dragged down or like I have stubby ankles (which can all be “side effects” of wearing a midi skirt).
That was until last month when I was in Europe and I fell in love with this plaid (pattern that reminds me a lot of Burberry) midi skirt and said to myself: “You know what, I’m going to face my fear and go for what I love. Because I’m worth it and I’ll find a way to pull it off.”
I knew I’m going to get some snarky remarks from a few people but I took the chance. And in the moment I dressed this skirt, I felt the amazing power of being my true self. All of the sudden, it didn’t matter anymore. All the others times I would’ve given into my doubts and ran to change into something totally in my comfort zone. But not this time! This time I chose not to hurt myself by playing small. And as a matter a fact, I chose to also not allow anyone else to hurt me either by valuing their opinion more than my own judgement and desire.
I have stepped outside my comfort zone enough to know that, yes, the world does fall apart, but not in the way that you fear.
Going through difficult times, loss, career struggles, heartbreaks and break-ups, changes in our appearance – can all erode our sense of self-worth and the best way to regain our confidence is to surround ourselves with positivity.
I must say… Another thing that gave me courage to write about my fashion fears was accidentally stumbling across this initiative from Dia&Co called Try Day Friday. Even though they focus on plus size clothing, their mission resonated with me because in my opinion style is more than just the clothes we wear or the shape of our body.
That’s why today I challenge you to wear that tight dress, to put on those killer heels, to wear that bold red lipstick, to rock that statement necklace… And most importantly: TO BE YOURSELF and face your fashion fears! I love you ❤️